Realisations in Beatings
by filmgurl2008
Summary: After Balthazar sees how Dean treats Castiel in the bedroom, he gets uncharacteristically angry and attacks the hairless-ape. And it makes Dean realise something important. Destiel. previous Calthazar. T for language and refers to lemons.


Dean watched as Cas got dressed. Of course he was pretending not to look. It didn't make sense for him to. After the first time it had happened, he'd kicked the Angel out - telling him it wouldn't happen again and that he didn't want to see him for a while.

His mind wandered to that time. . .how rough he had been with Cas, how harsh he'd been, what he'd said. . .how the hell had Cas felt then? Why did he let him do it again, and again and again? He shook his head; he didn't want to think about how the Angel felt. . .if he thought about it, it became real, what he did with Cas and what he felt for Cas, it would all become real. So he didn't think about it. He just did it. After a bad hunt, when he was pissed off at the world or Sam or God, when he just wanted sex, when he just wanted the Angel. . .he'd call him –either by prayer or cell- and get exactly what he wanted, because no matter how rough he was or how horrible his words were, Cas never refused him. Never.

He knew he shouldn't keep doing this to Cas. He was using the Angel in a way, but it was his way of getting what he wanted from him without having to tell him why he wanted it. Damn it yeah, he was using him alright.

He slid off the crappy motel bed and went to the Angel who was standing close to the end, looking down as he struggled with his tie. He took hold of the black material, wafting Cas' hands away, as the Angel turned towards him –to make it easier to do the tie. He could see the look on his face, it was a mix of his usual expression and worry, and what was that? A pleased look? He knew why he looked a little anxious; now was usually when he would start snapping if not shouting at Cas.

He wasn't sure why he was like that. He didn't like been mean to the Angel. It just. . .happened. Every time.

He had to stop thinking, usually he had to try and think. Dean didn't understand why Cas didn't just snap his fingers and zap his clothes back on –like he had done the first time. Again with the thinking. But he couldn't help it, before he thought it through, he asked, "Hey, Cas, why don't you. . .y'know just zap your clothes back on after. . ."

"Our intercourse?"

Dean let out short laugh. "Yeah, that."

"The longer it takes me to dress, the longer I get to stay with you." Castiel said as he looked down, almost as if inspecting his tie. It was a troublesome piece of attire; he wondered why Humans put themselves through wearing such a thing.

Dean stared at Cas; flabbergasted. Cas liked staying? Well, he knew Cas liked to be with him and Sam rather than doing his Angelic duties or whatever bullshit he had to do but he liked staying _after they had sex_? He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped quickly –almost thankfully- as the Angel's head shot up and tilted to the side a little, a frown in place on his face.

"I should be going."

"Erm, Cas, I-. . .Yeah, you should." Dean stumbled at first, and though he saw a flash of hurt cross the Angel's face it was gone as soon as it had appeared. _'Stay. You don't have to go. I'm sorry.'_

"There is a problem I must see to. I shall keep my distance for a few days –unless you or Sam need my assistance." Castiel told him. . . and then he was gone.

Dean took a deep sigh and ran his hand through his hair. There was a flurry of wings and he turned quickly, hoping -despite not knowing what he would say- that it was Cas. It wasn't. Balthazar stood a few steps away from him. He frowned at the pain in the arse Angel, agitated. "What do you want?"

Balthazar wafted his hand to the side and Dean went flying, crashing into the wall on his right. He turned his right hand, and looked at the glass of ice and whiskey that suddenly appeared as he spoke. "What I'm doing ape, is teaching you a lesson." He drank from the glass and at the same time Dean stumbled to his feet, cursing the Angel. He wafted his hand again, and Dean fell backwards into the wall with such force his breath was knocked out of him. Balthazar watched as the moronic ape coughed and spluttered, trying to get air back into his lungs but failing miserably. "I'm sorry, did I say you could get up?"

"What the-hell-are you doing?" Dean coughed. He knew he and the blond Angel weren't exactly on the best of terms, but they never actually full out attacked each other –not after the first time they'd met anyway. So, why was he attacking now? He knew Balthazar wasn't here because he'd switched sides and was working with Raphael now, he knew the blond would never do that to Cas. So, what the hell was going through his head?

"I do hate to repeat myself, but seen as it's you I'll explain a little better so you can understand, eh?" Balthazar moved his hand and the Hunter went crashing into the fireplace on the wall next to where he'd first hit. He noticed the ape tried to put his hands out in a feeble attempt to lessen damage to his body. . .moron. "I'm sick and tired of how you treat _my_ Cassie,"

"_Your_?" Dean snapped out as he got to his feet. The first two hits to the wall had caught him by surprise, no more. He was ready. Though. . .he wasn't exactly sure what he could do to Balthazar, with him been an Angel and all, but that had never stopped him before. "Cas isn't _yours_."

"He was mine before he was yours, you insignificant little-," Rather than finishing what he was saying, Balthazar clenched his fist and twisted, watching as Dean was pulled towards him –despite the Hunter's effort at digging his feet into the dirty carpet. He dropped the glass of whiskey and slammed his fist into Dean's face, watching as his head jerked back violently. He could hear it before he saw it; Dean coughed up blood. He waited until the Hunter looked back at him before hitting him again. "You think you can treat him like you do, and get away with it!?" The Angel roared furiously.

He watched Dean give him a confused look, at least that's what it looked like mixed with the pain. He unclenched his fist and Dean fell to his knees. "I've seen you," He leaned forward and grabbed at Dean's face roughly, pulling him closer –he noticed the Hunter's nose was broken and his eye was swollen already. He smirked for a moment before his expression turned dark, frightening. "I've seen how you fuck him -let alone how you treat him. You take what you want, when you want it. You only call when you need something. The things you say to him. The audacity you must have to treat _my_ Cassie like that."

That's what had started his fury. He'd seen how Cas was treated by both the Winchesters, though it was only the way that the _righteous man _treated him that had always annoyed him –they only called when they needed something from him, they didn't care much about his struggles unless he finally broke down and asked for help, they weren't all that friendly most of the time, they took the piss, they-well, the list could go on and on. But what had angered him today was what he had seen. He'd been bored waiting for someone to try and bargain with him so he could get more souls, so he had decided to see what Cassie was up to –he'd checked in on Castiel frequently since he had _died_, without the other knowing of course. All he had to do was snap his fingers and sit back and watch as a space in front of him opened up and showed what was happening with who or whatever he wanted to watch, just like a TV. . .only his was bigger. He'd watched as Dean had pounded his rather non-impressive length into Cas –he seriously didn't understand his young friend's infatuation with the hairless ape, he was nothing special- of course he had been envious of the ape but he'd smirked, finally seeing he was right. . .the Angel and the Hunter had been sleeping together.

But then he had really seen what was happening. . .how rough and harsh Dean was, how hard his thrusts were-hard enough to injure a Human, it was good Cas was an Angel and could handle much more. And he'd seen his Cassie not caring.

He was snapped back to the present as he heard Dean let out a disgruntled laugh. He glared at the Hunter and saw the somewhat amused look on his bloodied and bruised face. "_What_?" He all but snarled.

Dean smirked; damn it hurt to move. It had only looked like a normal punch that Balthazar had given him, but with him been an Angel it had hurt a hell-of-a lot more –just like when Cas had beaten him up. "You're jealous."

"What?"

"Of me and Cas, whatever the hell it is we have – you want it. You want _him_." Dean didn't know what he and Cas had. . .he just knew they had _something_, something he didn't know if Cas really wanted but he did, and he wasn't giving it up so Balthazar could have it. No chance in hell.

"You stupid boy," Balthazar snapped. He stood up, pushing Dean backwards. He twisted his hand as Dean hit the ground. . .he heard the Hunter gasp and choke out a _'fuck!'_ in pain as three of his ribs snapped simultaneously. He stalked around the Hunter, glaring down at him furiously. "I've spent thousands of years by his side! And you daren't even tell him what you want -you think what you have is better! At least when he was with me, he knew what to expect!" He twisted his hand, making Dean slide across the floor and slam into the table which collapsed on him –flimsy fold down Human craft-man-ship.

"But it's me he comes to now." Dean said, smirking, even as more blood dripped out of his mouth.

Balthazar snarled. "Because you call him!"

"But he still comes."

Balthazar clenched his hand tighter than before, and watched as the air fled from Dean's lungs. The Hunter chocked and gasped, trying to keep breathing.

"Balthazar, stop."

Balthazar unclenched his fist, letting the ape have his stupid air. He turned and looked at Castiel, noticing his worried expression towards Dean. "Why, Cassie? Why do you let this ape treat you like he does? You deserve better!"

Castiel tilted his head to the side, frowning confused. "Balthazar, I don't understand."

The blond Angel walked over to Castiel, gripping at his trench coat tightly. "We were good together, my friend."

Castiel's face softened. "Oh, I'm sorry, Balthazar."

Balthazar let out a soft breath, eyes closing for a moment. He shouldn't have let his anger get the better of him, not over this. He wasn't used to letting his anger win, he was usually calm while taunting others, even in the heat of battle. "I know,"

"I didn't mean for this to happen." Castiel told his friend. He had never meant to hurt Balthazar. And truth be told, he had never realised what they had had meant that much to the other Angel, especially seen as he was so casual about the whole thing, he had thought it was him their relationship had meant something to more. He glanced at Dean, worrying about his injures.

"I know," Balthazar opened his eyes, already knowing where Cas' were. "I'm sorry too, Cassie." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Cassie's, sweetly, sadly. He vanished suddenly and reappeared in front of Dean, who was still on the floor breathing deeply. He looked down at the stupid ape. "You should tell him what you feel, ape, and treat him better. . .or I will be back to finish this," He smiled as he looked up and down him. . .before he vanished, with one last look at Cas.

Castiel stared at the space where Balthazar had been; he would have to go see his old friend and find out what had caused his sudden outburst. He looked down to Dean before walking to him and pressing his fingers to his forehead.

Dean sat up, breathing deeply for a moment. He was completely fine now. He looked at Cas, smiling a little –he'd been fixed up by him so many times, it was somehow strange saying _'Thanks_.', it was kind of just a given that he was grateful. He climbed to his feet, feeling a little wobbly.

Castiel grabbed Dean's arms, steadying him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, err, Cas," Dean started, looking into those intense blue eyes. "what did you mean –you didn't mean for this to happen?"

Castiel broke their eye contact and looked to the floor for a moment, before looking back up with a nervous expression. "From the second I touched your soul in Hell, I was lost to Balthazar. My bond to him became to you. I never meant to lose our bond, it just. . .chose you instead."

Dean's eyes widened slightly, shocked. "W-what? Is that like a soul mate kind o' thing?"

Castiel swallowed thickly. "I suppose, it is to do with our bond –the one I did not want to tell you about. Not so much as soul mates but as-,"

Dean couldn't believe it, Cas was lost for words. But he knew what he meant. "Meant for each other?"

Castiel looked away from the Hunter. "Yes."

What he couldn't think about, what he couldn't tell Cas all but an hour ago. . .he had basically just said it. Maybe Balthazar beating the crap out of him hadn't been a bad idea, it kind of put things in perspective –he had never realised Cas could be with someone else, weather that involved sex or more than that, but he obviously could and had been. He could lose the Angel if he didn't change. He stepped forward, and took hold of Cas' face. "I'm sorry I hurt you," He crashed their lips together, heatedly, greedily, wantonly. . .lovingly.

And Cas kissed back with just as much of those emotions as Dean, grabbing his Hunter and pulling him close until their bodies were pressed together. He licked his lips and glanced at Dean's lips before looking up to his eyes. "You have never kissed me before,"

"Yeah," Dean said, wondering how he could never have kissed his Angel before. Then he realised it, he had been scared. He had been worried Cas wouldn't want the exact same thing he did. . .which was stupid, because he didn't even really know what he wanted from the other man.

"So why did you just now?" Castiel titled his head to the side.

"I don't. . .I. . ." Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Because I wanted to. I've wanted to for months. I was going to that first time we had sex, but it just. . .turned into what it did. And I'm sorry, Cas, I should have stopped-I shouldn't have kept been rough, I-," Dean's eyes widened as he was cut off –by Cas' lips pressing against his.

The Angel pulled away, a small soft smile on his face. "I wanted it too. Did you not wonder why I never refused you? You have done nothing wrong, Dean. . .I am an Angel, if I didn't want it or like it, I could have stopped you."

Dean smiled as he saw the slight playful smile on Cas' face. "So, what do we do about it?"

"What do you want to do about it?"

". . .I don't know," Dean said truthfully. He was pretty sure he was in love with Cas but how could he just come out and say it? He had already said they were made for each other, did he have to say everything in one night? "but I know I don't want you to go away. I want you to be with me."

Castiel smiled at his Hunter. "I want that too."

Dean smiled widely before grabbing Cas' coat and pulling him with him as he dropped onto the bed, the Angel kneeling over him. "Good." He mumbled as he pulled Cas close to meet his lips.

* * *

The End!

Just another kind of pointless little fic. Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading. sorry for any mistakes I've missed.


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